Some people are just not ready.

Some people are just not ready for feedback.

Over the past year, I’ve slowly come to the realisation that people who need help sometimes don’t actually want help and are happy bumbling on with their belief’s that they are doing well and know more than someone else so that makes them feel better. That’s a really poor way of keeping their self-esteem up – but it’s what they know, it’s what they understand and it’s kind of working for them.

Unfortunately, people like this really hate getting feedback (especially negative feedback), unless it’s from someone they see as a God/Guru/Expert like figure, and even then they try and find as many excuses as possible for not making a change. The resistance to change is still there even when presented with lots of evidence.

To some extent, we are all guilty of this at some point so it’s understandable.

My main win from this realisation is that it’s not worth the effort to even bother feeding back to them. At the least it’s going to deaf ears, at worst they’ll come back with troll comments or a list of their (poor) justifications for how they are better than me. It would be very easy (with my knowledge and skill) to completely burn those people to the ground or turn them into a jibbering wreck, but to what benefit? It doesn’t make me feel good. It won’t help them in the long run because they’ll have to find someone else to use as a shill to boost their self-esteem again, or bitch about it with a friend that will listen.

It’s a shame because usually I really do know what I’m talking about – otherwise, why would I botherĀ feeding back in the first place. However I’m wasting my time because ‘People are just not ready’.

So I’ve got a new habit to cultivate; stop feeding back. Stop giving away my knowledge and skills for free to individuals (the collective masses might get some though). It’s their loss, not mine.





Spencer Westwood

Author, musician, developer and generally a bit of a self confessed computer geek.